


Reiner Alone

by writeanon (Letterman)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:40:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29181162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Letterman/pseuds/writeanon
Summary: Battle after battle, war after war. Why is Reiner always the only one left behind?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Reiner Alone

**Author's Note:**

> This story was sketched out by the requester! You can [follow along with the storyboard as you read](https://imgur.com/a/bn4mnGf), it's really cool!

Reiner stood up, sweat dripping from his brow. He felt as though he were trapped in a furnace. The air itself felt thick, suffocating him as he desperately gulped. What the hell had happened? He couldn’t remember. He was bathed in darkness and suddenly a familiar thought caressed his ravaged and weary mind.

“Just sleep.”

When was the last time he had slept? Truly slept? Without seeing their faces. Marco, torn apart. Mikasa, furious and bearing killing intent. Eren, gnashing his teeth and cursing him a traitor, then the very same Eren clasping his hand and whispering his understanding. Every night, the same faces and same nightmares. He was ready for it to end. He closed his eyes and breathed evenly, basking in the tranquil silence.

Silence?

Reiner’s eyes snapped open. They had just been on top of Eren, hopelessly battling against a horde of Titans. What happened? He couldn’t remember, but the calm the silence had instilled in him now gave way to a growing unease. He thrashed around, tearing himself from the flesh confines of his titan, clawing blindly and ripping at chunks of meat, barely able to breathe.

At last, when he felt that he could nearly toil no more, his arms burst through to the outside, giving way to light. Reiner clambered out of his titan, hoisting himself up and out onto the back of the nape. He scanned the horizon and could hardly understand what he saw.

As far as he could see, Titans lay askew like giant beached whales across the ribs of the Founding. “Gabi! Falco!” he cried out. “Annie!? Jean!?” The sound of waves breaking below were the only response he received.

Reiner climbed down from atop his titan, onto Eren’s spine. His mind was clouded. “Where the hell is everyone? What happened… why can’t I remember?” He walked, yelling out for his comrades, for Eren, for anyone. Voice hoarse and legs aching, his cries became softer and less frequent, until finally he didn’t have it in him to scream out any longer.

It wasn’t until he stumbled and fell off the Founding that Reiner realized he managed to walk all the way to Eren’s head in his hazy state of mind. He looked down as he was falling and saw land fast approaching. He braced himself, cringing as he crashed down with a painful thud and felt his ankle twist painfully.

“Fuck.” Reiner looked around, coughing and waving at the dust that had strewn into the air courtesy of his fall. Was he at the fort? Reiner was suddenly struck with terror. Had Eren managed to reach the fort?

Reiner’s head snapped up and found himself staring directly into Eren’s massive eye. He scrambled backwards, his ankle painfully digging into the ground. “Fuck… that should have healed already.” Reiner looked up at the gigantic head of the Founding, and realized it was unmoving. In fact, it appeared to be… dead. Reiner looked back down at his foot, which was now taking on an angry bruise, and most definitely did not appear to be healing.

Reiner’s jaw dropped slightly. Had they won? Had they managed to stop Eren?

At that moment, he noticed the scent of blood in the air, and as the dust settled, the unmistakable sight of bodies came into view.

Hundreds of them, crushed and horribly mangled. Reiner swallowed thickly. Marleyan soldiers and townspeople alike had all met the same fate. Reiner choked back tears as he cursed himself. They hadn’t managed to stop Eren at all. He had failed completely.

Reiner got up to his feet, limping gingerly on his ruined foot. It seemed that his healing abilities had left him, but how? His thoughts came crashing to a halt as he happened to notice one of the bodies.

“...Mom?” he whispered. Her frail body had been twisted up, and her face etched into permanent agony. Her lower half was barely connected to her upper. But it was undoubtedly her.

Reiner dropped to his knees. “No… no… please. Mom… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He gripped her ruined fingers, mumbling his apologies between sobs that wracked the reluctant soldier’s exhausted frame. When he was out of tears and apologies, his sorrow relented to violent self-hatred.

“IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!!!” he screamed out to the void, slamming his fists into the ground, scraping the knuckles bloody. “It should have been me…” he whimpered.  
Suddenly, Reiner stood up, ignoring the painful jolts that shot up his leg. “It should have been me,” he spoke with conviction. Reiner strode purposefully to the edge of the cliff. “It’s been a long time coming” he thought to himself. He didn’t know what had happened, but he knew that they had failed and that he didn’t need to fight anymore. There was no point anymore. So he was done with all of it.

As he stared out at the horizon one final time, Reiner breathed his last. The salty ocean air inundated his senses, comforting him despite his physical fatigue. And as he prepared to jump, he felt a slight prickle in the back of his mind. Suddenly, recollection flooded his mind.

“Gabi!” screamed Falco. “Reiner was knocked out! What do we do? He was supposed to destroy Eren’s nape!”

Gabi stared at Reiner through his Titan’s eye. He couldn’t move or speak.

“Reiner… It’s okay.” Gabi spoke to him. “You’ve fought enough, haven’t you? I know. You thought I didn’t understand but… I understand what you went through. It was the same for me.”

Gabi stared at her older cousin before turning her attention to Falco. “We’re going to take care of it. Let’s… leave Reiner out of it.” Falso nodded. Gabi looked at Reiner one last time.

“Reiner… **Live**.”

Back in the present, Reiner was now flat on his back, staring up at the starry night sky. He closed his eyes and exhaled. It was a cruel world, after all. In the end, of course he’d be the only one still alive.

“Why won’t you guys… just let me die?” Reiner whispered. As he drifted to sleep, he faintly hoped that his question would reach them, wherever they were.


End file.
